Today, we review Batman, the Dark Knight.

First off, let's talk about you.

Now tell me the truth. Did you really enjoy this? No, stop. Stop. Its ok. I am not grading you. This is not for me, this is for you. You should not spend your life parroting conventional wisdom. So, just take a breath and think really hard.

So, tell me, what.did.you.think! I want the truth!

What? Yes, any good-will the movie generated in its apparent first 5 hours of run time did sort of evaporate as this Wagnerian Ring Cycle of a movie hit the twelve hour mark. Whew, you see? It feels good to tell the truth.

Come on, let it out, it's ok. I understand.

Yeah, I would agree that this joker fella did seem to be almost cartoonish in his ultra-competence and near perfect-ego. I also feel conflicted because you know; he is, after all, a "super" villian, just as batman is a superhero, incorruptible and almost fully competent? But still, you have to draw the line somewhere. And, sure, homage should be paid to the late Ledger. I know, shhh, the lip smacking got old. But, maybe it was supposed to be annoying.

Look, no need to get nasty, I agree that Maggie Gylenahalelelalal is nowhere near as hot as Katie Holmes. And it is true, her role did not actually need an actor beyond what a hot chick like Kates could pull off. But still, to say that Mags has not been attractive to you outside of Secretary is mean.

But, that is ok too. We are in the truth zone.

Hey buddy, now you are getting really mean, but I understand, as cool as Aaron Eckhart is, I do not think the movie really made any sense as far as what the two-face character was supposed to be. Oh, another dude with a gun in Gotham city. ooohhhhh, scary!

And what? No, Batman is not a cripple. Chris Nolan prefers to film the fight scenes in a staccato rhythm to hide any actual fighting. I know, I preferred the crisp Matrix fighting scenes where you could actually see the fights, but this is art. you know?

Ok, now you are getting ridiculous, shame on you. I still like the president, so this whole Batman-Bush thing doesn't upset me. It upsets you? What? Not enough Bush bashing out there in the rest of Hollywood for you? God, grow up. Seriously, just saying the word, "Halliburton,"€ is not even an argument and doing so doesn't even make sense. Listen, good people sometimes have to kill bad people. If Lord Obama has to throw his Grandma, Wright, Rezko, and Ayers under the bus, then he may also engage in a little light bombing at times too. Hey, at least Bush knows there are only 50 states and I never heard him complain about the price of arugula. And, maybe Sheik Khalid Mohamed needed to be waterboarded.

Fine, I see that we will just have to agree to disagree on the politics of the movie. **cough cough. pinko.**

So, we will just leave it at this, a very long movie, incoherent at times, but still worth seeing.

Alright, great thanks for sharing. I would have to say that I enjoyed Iron Man more, even though I don't think there was any action at all in it. Maybe superhero origin movies are inherently engrossing.

The Incredible Hulk sucked. All the new Hulk movie has done is reinforce in my mind how good Hulk was. This movie got a lot of negative word of mouth. At least, Ang Lee didn't turn Banner into a gay cowboy. Maybe that was why they didn't let him make a sequel, you can see that pitch. "This time, Hulk can't quit Betsy Ross's toned, tanned brother."

Ang Lee fills this movie with a palpable atmosphere. Eric Bana and Nick Nolte's character both smoulder with internal rage. When Bana's Banner gets mad, you feel it.

Jennifer Connolly is amazing (hot, but also I can believe that she has the calming effect on the green guy that I discuss below). Sam Elliot is just cool. The new movie can't compete on acting. Sorry, Mr. Durden.

There is something else that occurred to me. Think about it, you are the Hulk, you are fucking mad, the US military has tried to kill you for about 3 hours straight in a battle that spanned the southwest portion of this country. ok? Who in your world would calm you down on sight? Mom? Your ex-girlfriend? Your wife? Betsy Ross did that to Hulk. That is a deep affection he had for her.

Anyway, the Onion pointed out that this was a superhero for the New Yorker crowd. It is lush and deep. Hulk doesn't smash enough, but when he does, you get an idea of the strength that everyman wishes he had when enraged. And there are no small battles in this movie. Hulk smash good.

Haven't seen Hellboy 2.

But you know what I thought was a really good movie? Zohan. That Adam Sandler takes absurd story telling to whole new levels. I was in the right frame of mind when I saw it, I dug it.